The Sound of Memories: Dementia Patients Respond to Music

Music stirs memories

Jukebox Jive by JeffHBlum

Music has been a powerful influence in my life, so it comes as no surprise to me that music has been shown to soothe the beast of Alzheimer’s disease for those afflicted by this hideous monster. For that reason, I took great interest in the local newspaper’s recent story, “Music & Memory program soothes, uplifts people with dementia” by Dean Olsen. The article explains the efforts of the program Music & Memory to bring personalized music to dementia sufferers to help trigger memories from happier times and improve their quality of life. I was delighted to learn that the Alzheimer’s facility in my hometown is a certified provider of the Music & Memory program for its residents.

There is a beautiful photo in the newspaper article showing a resident of the Alzheimer’s facility in town enjoying her favorite music. I couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear after seeing how happy she looked with her headphones on dancing around. This is such a beautiful sight, I just have to share!

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The Police Trifecta of Memoirs

The Trifecta of Police MemoirsI’m a huge fan of The Police, in fact huge doesn’t begin to describe my admiration for the band. The music of The Police saved me as a teen and has had a monumental impact on my life. For that reason, I’ve collected and devoured all three memoirs by the members of the band: Sting, Stewart Copeland, and Andy Summers.

I’ve now completed this Police trifecta of memoirs after just finishing Andy Summers’ book One Train Later. Yes, I know I’m late to this book party since One Train Later was published some time ago. But hey, better late than never! I enjoyed all three of these memoirs for different reasons. All three bring a new dimension to the authors, and each provides a different and fascinating viewpoint.

Broken Music by StingBroken Music is an intimate portrait of Sting’s formative years growing up in England and his musical path to eventual success. Interestingly, the book ends just as Sting takes off with the Police and doesn’t dish much on the band at all. It is a beautifully written recollection of Sting’s beginnings and what drove him to succeed as a musician.

Strange Things Happen by Stewart CopelandStrange Things Happen  is a hysterical ride through Stewart Copeland’s odd life and claim to fame. Just like his drumming, the pace of Copeland’s book is frenetic, loud, and in-your-face funny. He offers no apologies for the many tangents he explores, and his book shows how he embraces life and the strange opportunities that come his way.

One-Train-Later-Andy-SummersOne Train Later by Andy Summers tells the life story of the most experienced member of the band. Prior to his stint with The Police, Summers paid his dues in the musical trenches longer than the others before finding success. The book is a great testament to his love affair with the guitar and his perseverance in the music industry.

The bottom line is that these three musicians are my heroes; I worship the ground they walk upon as well as the page upon which they write. Broken Music, Strange Things Happen, and One Train Later will always hold a special place in my heart and on my bookshelf. I recommend these memoirs for anyone seeking to learn more about what shaped and drove the members of The Police from three vastly different perspectives. As with their music, all three musicians bring something different and exciting to turn the pages.

The Police were a band for far too short a time. The brightest stars always burn out all too quickly from the blinding intensity. Yet we can’t help but remember and cherish the greatness we witnessed, and here are three memoirs to help with that task.

Happy 200th Anniversary Pride and Prejudice!

pride_and_prejudice_200th_anniversaryJanuary 28 marks the 200th anniversary for the publication of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen in 1813. This is not only one of the world’s most beloved novels, but also my favorite book of all time! Honestly, I never tire of reading it, and my well-worn copy holds a place of honor on a crowded bookshelf.

Even two centuries later, Pride and Prejudice remains a literary masterpiece for several reasons in my mind. First and foremost, it is a beautiful love story. I admit it, I’m a total sucker for that reason alone. Calling it a love story just doesn’t do it justice though, because to me it is more than a love story; it is so romantic with its dated customs of courtship that I can hardly stand it. The story makes me weak in the knees, butterfly in the stomach, school-girl crush giddy in its romanticism.

The other reason I adore Pride and Prejudice is because it is a remarkable study of relationships and characters. All sorts of relationships are explored; between men and women of course, but also between parent and child, siblings, friends, and people from different classes of society. Jane Austen hit the nail on the head two hundred years ago explaining the complexities of personal interactions. She also showed how people can be good and bad at the same time, a revelation that resonates deeply with me. Nobody is perfect, and Austen was brave enough to expose human weakness way back in 1813.

It would be hard for any modern novel to surpass the perfection of Pride and Prejudice in my opinion. In my own writing, I try to emulate Jane Austen’s insight into relationships and communicate those tricky “truths universally acknowledged.” She has set the bar so high, I’m afraid I’ll never attain this goal. Luckily, I can always reread Pride and Prejudice to learn more from the master.

Some things never change, like the inherent nature of people in general. Do you think Pride and Prejudice will still resonate with people in another hundred years?

Detours in 2013 and New Year’s Resolutions

thinking_about_breast_cancerA good friend just shared her recent breast cancer diagnosis, confirmed by her doctor four days before the New Year. Needless to say, the shocking news has called into question all her plans for 2013 and changed her priorities drastically, all in one fell swoop.  This life-altering diagnosis will change my friend’s outlook on life forever, and it’s a pretty crummy way to start the year. Weeks ago she was planning a fun vacation for 2013, and now instead she’s making decisions on how best to proceed so that she may live to see far beyond 2013. That’s quite a detour.

Her health crisis has me thinking too. I have been consumed by Alzheimer’s disease for so long, guided by a self-imposed duty to raise awareness and help those I run into along the way who have been adversely affected by dementia. For that reason, I just haven’t contemplated other equally devastating illnesses much, even though I know they are lurking out there and capable of causing widespread misery. I have seen a lot of it lately, especially with cancer.

So as the new year of 2013 begins, my resolution is to open my eyes wider with compassion for all and help my friend on this unexpected journey with breast cancer. She is the second close acquaintance of mine to be diagnosed with breast cancer at age 50, which seems far too young.

My wish for all in 2013 is to maintain or improve their health and happiness, especially for my dear friend on her unexpected detour. By year’s end I pray she will be back on track standing proudly with all the other cancer survivors, and one day I pray for there to be survivors of Alzheimer’s disease as well.

What is your resolution to make it a happy new year for you and those you love?

A Tribute to Dad

My father-in-law just died, and I am mourning the loss of our family patriarch. Because I grew up in a broken family without a father around, this man was the only father I’ve ever known. He was more of a father to me in the last twenty-five years than my own biological father has been in my entire lifetime. I called him Dad, and he earned it. I could not have asked for a better man to be the father figure that I always needed and wanted.

I knew Dad only from the time of his retirement in 1988 until his passing last Sunday, and in that time I’ve witnessed plenty to gain my respect, admiration and love. First, he welcomed me with open arms as a member of his family. Next, I watched him lovingly and with great devotion care for his wife of over fifty years through her six-year illness until her death. He then befriended my own mother through the darkest days of her progressing dementia, at a desperate time when she needed a friend most of all. For that compassion I will always be most grateful. I watched Dad move on with his life as a widower and finally find love once again with a wonderful woman who became his second wife. I watched him share his wisdom and grow old gracefully, accepting his limitations when the time came.

Dad was a man who valued his family and his faith and possessed a strong work ethic, and he lived his life guided by these simple but supreme principles. I have the utmost respect and admiration for the positive example he set for us all, and I’m grateful too because I see the best of Dad’s traits in his youngest son, my husband, and the rest of the beautiful family he has raised. It is exactly the kind of family I always wanted but never had growing up in my own dysfunctional family.

I’m going to miss Dad terribly. But there is comfort in his death by merely being grateful for the family that he raised and loved. I see the best of Dad in each and every member of his family. By marriage that family is now my family, and I am so very grateful to be a part of that legacy.

Thank you, Dad. My love for you is endless. May you rest in eternal peace now.

Image courtesy of seyed mostafa zamani

In Thanksgiving for Alzheimer’s Disease

In Thanksgiving for Alzheimer's DiseaseToday is Thanksgiving, and I’ve spent a wonderful day with my family. Try as I might to let the sun shine fully upon the holiday, a shadow has been cast upon the day as I reflect tonight. This was the first year that all of my parents, biological and in-laws, have been absent from the family celebration. Four Thanksgivings have come and gone since my mother died, but my father-in-law was not in attendance this year for the first time because he is in the hospital, his health in a precarious state for an eighty-eight year old. Suddenly my generation is the one responsible for the continuation of our family traditions.

As I consider all that I have to be thankful for this year, and there is so much, my thoughts eventually turn to the disease that claimed my mother’s life in 2009. Is there any reason to be thankful for Alzheimer’s disease and the extreme difficulties my family faced during my mother’s battle with dementia?

I’ve detested Alzheimer’s disease for so long now, since 1996 to be exact. It is strange to even consider that there might be a reason to appreciate Alzheimer’s disease. This disease is the worst and most devastating thing I have faced so far, and for that reason I have learned more from it than anything else. There is reason to be thankful for this monster entering my life, because Alzheimer’s has taught me things that it might have otherwise taken me a lot longer to figure out.

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Roadblocks and Setbacks

Roadblock , Do Not Enter, DetourEver had one of those days where absolutely everything goes wrong? You know, a day full of setbacks and roadblocks, enough to make you feel like you just can’t do anything right. That was yesterday for me.

Setback 1: It started early with oatmeal, of all things. I’ve cooked it the same dependable way for years but yesterday it turned out watery for some reason. An attempt to fix the problem then turned my oatmeal into a substance similar to concrete just before it hardens.

Setback 2: After arriving at work, a trip to the restroom and a look in the mirror revealed a stain on my sweater in a color I could not identify, remove or hide. Was the concrete oatmeal to blame?

Roadblock 3: A project I have been conceptualizing, writing and obsessing over for the last two and a half months got shot down, forcing me against my will back to square one. I could see the fireball and smoke for miles in every direction.

Setback 4: While attempting to operate a fire extinguisher in my brain, I forgot a parent teacher conference scheduled immediately after work and was reminded by the frantic “Where are you?” phone call ten minutes before the appointment time.

Roadblock 5: A pounding headache kept me from focusing on the conversation after arriving late to the parent teacher conference.

Obviously, I was in a serious funk and needed some help to get over it. I tried a few strategies, all with varying degrees of success or failure, depending on how you look at it.

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David Cassidy on Alzheimer’s Disease

David Cassidy and his mother Evelyn

David Cassidy and his mother Evelyn, photo courtesy of www.DavidCassidy.com

I recently read the Fall 2012 issue of care ADvantage from the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America and learned that David Cassidy’s mother Evelyn suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. In the interview “Original Teen Heartthrob David Cassidy and His Heartbreak” by Carol Steinberg, Cassidy had some interesting things to say about Alzheimer’s that really struck a chord with me.

“This has arguably been the most painful and gut-wrenching personal experience in my life.”

Gut-wrenching? He’ll get no argument from me on that one. I can totally relate to this confession because I feel exactly the same way. I truly believe anyone who has watched a loved one succumb to Alzheimer’s is forever changed by the experience. It is “gut-wrenching,” as David Cassidy so perfectly described.

“I think anyone who has had the experience that I have, who has the opportunity to reach people, to educate, to be pro-active in realizing the depth of this problem, realizes that we have just experienced the tip of the iceberg as far as Alzheimer’s disease and dementia are concerned.”

Tip of the iceberg with Alzheimer's diseaseTip of the iceberg? David Cassidy hits the nail right on the head once again explaining what is yet to come from the predicted Alzheimer’s epidemic due to aging baby boomers. The iceberg comparison adds a nice visual element to help people understand better. What we haven’t seen yet from Alzheimer’s is so much more frightening and devastating than what we’ve already encountered.

I’m sorry for the pain that David Cassidy has suffered as he continues to watch his mother progress through the stages of Alzheimer’s disease. I know that pain and the helplessness of that situation. Thank you, David Cassidy, for using your celebrity to bring more awareness to this monstrous disease and the reality of what is yet to come unless we act to find treatment and a cure. For that reason among others (including watching The Partridge Family as a youngster), David Cassidy, I think I love you.

The Rest of the Chicken Soup for the Soul: Family Caregivers Story from Wendy Poole

The rest of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Family Caregivers Story Wendy PooleBack in April, I posted my thoughts after reading all the moving stories in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Family Caregivers. I specifically mentioned the story “Remembrance” by Wendy Poole as my favorite dementia story, but I wondered why Wendy and her mother shared only six weeks of happiness at the piano with Wendy’s mother singing show tunes while Wendy played for her.

Recently I was delighted to learn the rest of the story from Wendy herself, as she contacted me to answer my question. As it turned out, her mother’s illness had progressed to the point that she needed to be moved to a nursing home. The piano recitals were no longer possible from the new facility, and the therapeutic ritual became another short but sweet memory in Wendy’s Alzheimer’s journey with her mother.

All dementia caregivers have stories to share, events in the progression of this devastating illness that have changed them profoundly. While these stories are all personal tributes to loved ones, there is a bittersweet commonality between them to which all caregivers can relate. Wendy was kind enough to share another of her stories with me, one she originally submitted to her local newspaper for Alzheimer’s Awareness Month. Thanks to Wendy for filling in the blanks and also allowing me to share her poignant story with others here.

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Springfield IL Walk to End Alzheimer’s September 22, 2012

1 Walk to End Alzheimers Springfield IL Sep 22 2012Many enthusiastic and passionate supporters came out on a sunny and fiercely windy morning in Southwind Park for the Walk to End Alzheimer’s on September 22, 2012 in Springfield, Illinois. Not only was the event a fundraiser, but it was also a moving tribute to those who currently suffer from or care for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease.

A dog shows support for the Walk to End Alzheimers Springfield IL Sep 22 2012

I volunteered to help find people who might be interested in participating in clinical research trials, and in this role was reminded how much fear is associated with Alzheimer’s disease. As I walked through the crowd and talked to attendees, I was greeted with much anxiety and heard often, “No, I don’t want to ever know if I might get Alzheimer’s disease.” This response reinforced the need to find a cure for me because people are so afraid of this devastating illness.

The crowd at  Walk to End Alzheimers Springfield IL Sep 22 2012A touching speech was made by a woman  in her fifties who was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s disease three years ago and her caregiver husband, both of whom stressed fighting as long as possible and dealing with the diagnosis as best they could.

Colorful pinwheels were given to participants and held proudly to designate roles of those in attendance – purple for those who have lost loved ones, blue for those currently living with Alzheimer’s, yellow for caregivers, and orange for advocates. These pinwheels spun out of control at times as the wind gusted. I thought this was a lovely symbol of solidarity but noticed only a couple of blue pinwheels in the crowd. Purple and yellow pinwheels were represented the most, and I proudly held my purple pinwheel in memory of my own mother, who lost her battle with Alzheimer’s in 2009.

Pinwheel from Walk to End Alzheimers Springfield IL Sep 22 2012The walk after the brief rally was somber and befitting the occasion as we all walked together around Southwind Park, each silently hopeful that some day there will be a cure found to stop the suffering from this horrible and frightful disease. I thought about my mother and family as I walked on their behalf, and I reflected on my greatest wish the entire time. Please let there be a world without Alzheimer’s disease for my children and their children.